You are so beautiful to me.... Patricia Ann, Originally written May 3, 2017... still true today.
Today, I woke up and checked my Facebook posts and a friend had posted a video of a play he was singing in. The song that followed touched my heart and I felt such a beautiful love for Jesus that I am compelled to write this letter to Jesus this morning.
I love you. You really are so very beautiful to me. Your love abounds in all creation.
You have known me through times of laughter and times of tears.
You have known me as a goofy little girl and as woman who has struggled with hard decisions and loss, misunderstandings and so much fear.
I felt your hug years ago, as I sought counseling and as the minister/counselor left me feeling even more abused and misunderstood, I stood in his office, in that church, that day and I knew your presence and I felt your hug...your arms around me. It was your love and your Spirit that comforted me.
I felt your presence years later, as I sat in a court proceeding as my ex husband sought to take away my little boy. As lies and hatred spewed from the mouths of him and his lawyer, it was your presence that I felt, Jesus. Even though many hurtful words were said, it was your voice that I heard over and over again in my mind. "Before they hated you, they hated me". Over and over again, you whispered this in my ear.
You never leave my side Jesus. In my times of despair, you have always been right there...even when I felt too afraid and confused to call out your Name, I know you never left my side. I remember the years that I sought you in my fear. From moment to moment, as I didn't know if I would be beaten physically or if the emotional torment would one day be too much, you remained as my refuge, my safe place.
You have shown me in dreams and visions the angels watching over me. You gave me the dream of holding you as a baby, on a Christmas eve, and I woke feeling so blessed and mesmerized that you allowed me to experience such an amazing moment with you.
You showed me the value of life and death, as I worked as a florist, ministering to families who were grieving... with the beauty of the flowers that you created and the gift you gave me to capture the essence of a "personality" in flowers.
You allowed me to sit at the feet of my grandmothers bed, as she took her last breath on this earth. And as I sat there in that moment, I sensed the doorway between good and evil open. I felt a pulsating ...like a heartbeat, a swishing sound in that realm. Then I felt a wondrous sense of peace, as I knew within my innermost being that my grandmother had just passed into your presence. Oh, Jesus the mysteries that you have revealed to me. I stand in awe of you every moment!
And in so many ways Jesus, you have shown me the beauty of creation.
You have shown me the smell of a newborn babies breath, the first cry, laughter and oh, the love of a child. You have shown me, as a child, the love of a parent, a friend and family.
You gave me opportunity to care for people when I was a young woman, working in nursing homes. Oh, the compassion I felt for these people whose families no longer came to visit, but you were there. You were there, working through the nurses and nurses aides, the visitors and caregivers. I remember always knowing that I learned love and compassion during those times in my life. I saw you in years lived, in the eyes and hearts of these people, who would soon be going home to heaven to live with you.
And it was through those experiences that I was years later called by you to care for my ex- father in law in the last three years of his life. I will forever treasure those moments, as you used him to bless me in even bigger ways than he ever knew. Every time he called me "sunshine", I smiled. And I remember the day he passed away from this earth into your presence, Jesus, the sun was shining and the colors were so vivid on the trees that I knew without any doubt that you were with me in my sadness, my tears and my grieving. But, what a joy it was, knowing and caring for this man. I remember going to the nursing home and hospital so many times always praying that you would walk beside me and that my words would be your words. And so it was...just that way, day after day!
I remember one day, as I stood with that man, my best friend, talking outside in my driveway on a sunny spring day, that a tiny blue dragon fly landed on my fingertip and tilted his little head, gazing into my eyes for just a moment in time, and I saw the beauty of creation and the delicate design of each and every living thing. I felt so very blessed and my heart was full of joy!
Only with your love, Jesus, could any of these thing have happened...and I have always known it was you and never me.
And as I sit to write these messages to post on your website today, Jesus, I am humbled at the words that my fingertips punch out on the keyboard. They truly are your words. Messages from the heart of Jesus though my heart and my fingertips. It is truly awesome to operate as your vessel and I sit here humbled with tears in my eyes...even right now.
And Jesus, today as I sit in your house, I am not sure there are words to describe how my heart feels. I am playing the song over and over again ..."You are so beautiful to me" and I guess that is the only description that needs to be said...over and over again. You truly are so beautiful to me.
This letter is a testimony of your love, of my love and how beautiful you are to me. Without you, I am nothing, but with you my life is a testimony of you, your love, your presence in every situation, both good and bad.
These are but a few moments of my life, a few testimonies of the presence of you, Lord, that have shaped my life until this time.
Jesus, as you are doing new and exciting things now, I stand in reverence to you, to your calling and purpose for my life. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for seeing me through every day of my life... for forgiving me when I have sinned, and for leading me to this day, this time...where you have placed me in your house to speak your Word, to sing praises to your Holy name and to Glorify you in all things.
As you have shown me your love, your sword, your light. and your beauty... I thank you and I will share...you!
Jesus, You are so beautiful to me.
You are so beautiful
You are so beautiful
You can see!
You're everything I hoped for!
You're everything I need!
You are so beautiful
Such joy and happiness
Such joy and happiness
You bring from within!
Like a dream, or in a dream
You, Jesus are the guiding light that shines in the night!
You, Jesus are Heavens gift to me.
You are so beautiful...
I praise your Holy Name!
You, Jesus are the essence of Life, of Love, of Happiness, Health and Joy!
My prayer for today is that we all reflect on our lives and see that Jesus has always been close by...ever present in our daily lives.
Love and blessings to ALL in Jesus precious Name. Amen